A truth once learnt…
by CalamityKat
Summary: A truth, once learnt, can seldom be unlearnt. / Chihaya&Taichi
1. Prologue

**A truth once learnt…**

A truth, once learnt, can seldom be unlearnt.

**Prologue**

**November**

Chihaya placed a steadying hand against the wall and lowered her body to the ground. With her legs tucked underneath her, she leant her back against the cool, hard tiles of the Ootsuka Karuta Meeting Hall. Her panicked breaths and beating heart were slowly returning to their normal rate, but her eyes, usually so bright with excitement, would take far longer to lose their glazed expression. Turning her face heavenwards Chihaya stared blankly at the darkening sky. Her_ body_ might be sitting outside the Ootsuka Hall but her _mind _was clearly elsewhere.

From inside, an excited hubbub arose as the voices of friends, family and supporters congratulated this year's Meijin and Queen Challengers. Chihaya was vaguely aware of the fact that her own friends would be looking for her but, right now, she just wanted to be alone.

_How had her world changed so suddenly? _She had heard it said that truths, once learned, can seldom be unlearnt. She was just now realising the accuracy of that statement; because the truth was, Arata loved her. And now that she knew, what was she supposed to _do_?

From the minute the words had left his mouth, it was as though her mind had shut down. She hadn't been able to think... hadn't known _what_ to think. How were you supposed to respond, when someone told you that they loved you?

Then, after the initial shock, her mind had gone into over drive. Flattery, confusion, dismay, excitement, embarrassment, fear, giddiness, hope, disbelief… all of these feelings and more. She hadn't known it was possible for one person to experience so many emotions at once. Her body, too, had not known how to respond. While her heart had done its best to beat right out of her chest, her stomach had tied itself into knots. She felt physically sick. And happy, too. Was that normal?

Kana-chan was right. She didn't know the first _thing_ about love...

A sudden round of applause broke out from the hall behind, startling Chihaya from her reverie. The presentation ceremony would soon be over. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. She wasn't quite ready to return... Not just yet...

At the sound of approaching footsteps her eyes flew open. "Chihaya?" she heard a familiar voice calling and, as she turned her face that way, she saw Taichi standing at the corner of the building. His breath fogged in the cooling air and his cheeks were tinged with red. Chihaya stood up, suddenly nervous. It wouldn't do to let Taichi see her acting like such a… such a… such a _girl! _He'd probably tease her and laugh at her. She didn't want that. So, dusting herself off, she walked towards him; ready to re-join her friends and celebrate Harada Sensei's victory.

If she hadn't been so distracted by her own thoughts she might have noticed that Taichi, too, was strangely preoccupied. As it was, the pair walked towards the Meeting Hall's entrance, each wrapped up in their own personal dilemmas and tangled emotions.

And emotions, Chihaya would soon come to realise, can be every bit as exhausting as physical effort.


	2. Chapter One

_**Chapter One**_

Chihaya's heart sank as she turned the pages of her text book. Maths would _never_ be her friend. Right now, she couldn't even call it an acquaintance_._ The beauty of its language, of its patterns and its order, seemed to slip right past her. It was a miracle that she had ever passed her exams. Even with her cousin's tutoring and the help of her friends, Chihaya had still been worried that she might fail. She'd had so many other things on her mind that concentrating on her schoolwork had been almost impossible. It had been three months now since Arata confessed his love to her. Three months since Harada-sensei had become the Meijin challenger. Three months since _she _had realised just how _desperately_ she wanted to play in a match like the challenger finals. And those three months had turned out to be the most emotionally draining of her life.

To start with, she'd been so wrapped up in Arata's confession that her friends had accused her of "spacing out" all the time. In any quiet moment, when she wasn't entirely focused on karuta or struggling through her exams, she had found her mind drifting back to that day. It was the first time a boy had ever said he_ loved_ her. But then, somewhere along the way, Arata's confession had become entangled with the matches she had witnessed, images of him and Harada sensei battling it out mixing _with_ the words of love. As time went on, it had become harder to separate the two. And then, as she'd watched the Queen and Meijin decider in mid-January, Chihaya had realised that she couldn't let Arata's confession worry her forever_. _She'd already decided on her path. She wanted to get stronger in karuta. No, she _needed_ to get stronger. Nothing else was important right now. She wanted to become Queen and, until then, boys and romance and declarations of love were completely _off-limits._ Deciding _this_ was like discovering she could breathe again. The panic and confusion had abated, and her focus and drive had returned with a deadly passion.

Chihaya glanced back to the problems she was supposed to be working on, the numbers and letters jumbling together in her mind's eye. _Too hard_, she thought, closing her book with a snap. In the background her teacher's voice droned on, providing explanation after explanation, but Chihaya was no longer listening. Instead, she had turned her head to stare out of the window, looking down to the courtyard below. The sakura trees were just coming into bloom, the tiny white flowers clinging to the branches like flakes of snow. The image made her think of the _Hana sasou_ poem, its lines running through her head.

"_Not the snow of flowers,_

_That the hurrying wind whirls_

_Round the Garden Court:_

_What withers and falls away_

_In this place is I myself."_

_I'm __withering away,_ Chihaya thought, dejectedly. There was just one week to go before the end of term. Exams had finished last week, so why did they have to sit through another whole week of school? Why couldn't the holidays start _now_? An extra week to practise karuta was exactly what she needed! With a sigh, Chihaya placed her chin in her open palm, resting her elbows upon the desk. She watched as a faint breeze stirred the blossoms outside, sending a flurry of petals raining down. _I'd rather be playing karuta, or cleaning out the club room, or thinking up ways to recruit new club members, or..._There were a lot of things she'd rather be doing right now, almost _all_ of them karuta related. Chihaya glanced at her watch, wondering just how much more of this torture she still had to sit through before she could escape to the club room. Her eyes widened in horror. _Ten minutes? A whole __**ten minutes**__ before the bell went?! Ugh! _Dismally, she turned her attention back to the window and the courtyard below. At the far end, a group of students appeared, laughing and chatting happily. _How unfair, _thought Chihaya! _Why can't my class finish early? _

As she watched them, she thought she recognised one or two of their faces. That boy there, Naka...Nakami-... Naka _something, _he was in Taichi's class, wasn't he? Chihaya was sure she'd seen them talking together. Sure enough, Taichi walked into view just seconds later. He was laughing at something the small boy beside him had said. _Desktomu, _thought Chihaya. _Grrrr! He and Taichi are so lucky. _One of the boys up ahead called out to Taichi, and he smiled as a soccer ball was kicked his way.

Chihaya recalled how soccer had once been a major part of his life. Practise every Wednesday, matches every Saturday, posters on his bedroom wall…But he'd given all of that up to start a karuta club with her. Come to think of it, she really ought to thank him for that… But that would just be weird. Besides, isn't that what friends were supposed to do? Support each other? Of _course_ Taichi had wanted to help her. And, if he ever wanted to play soccer again, she'd… talk him out of it, obviously! Because, really, why would he want to play soccer when he could be playing karuta with her?! Chihaya smiled to herself. She was certainly lucky in her choice of friends.

As she watched, one of the boys kicked the ball somewhat harder than he had expected. A shout went up as it sailed through the air. It was headed straight for the glass panelling above the courtyard's door. Taichi's eyes widened in horror and, dumping his schoolbag on the grass, he ran and leapt, catching it just before it smashed against the panes. The other students quickly rushed to him, laughing and slapping him on the back.

Chihaya let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding. When they were in elementary school together, she and Taichi had competed to see who could jump the highest, aiming to touch the top of the door frame. Once, one of their teachers had caught them out and they'd been made to stand in the hallway throughout all of lunch. Back then, it had seemed as though they'd _never_ be tall enough to do it. Run and jump though they might, they never even came _close_ to reaching the top.

_When did Taichi grow so tall? _Chihaya wondered.

While all of this had been going on, Chihaya's teacher had slowly realised that all of the students sitting nearest to the windows had completely lost interest in their bookwork. They were all staring down avidly at something that was happening in the courtyard below. His eyes narrowed when he realised that all of those students were female. "Girls," he barked, "is there something outside I need to know about?" Startled, Chihaya looked around in surprise, noticing as she did so that all down her row, other girls were turning back guiltily. One or two were giggling. Chihaya's mouth tightened and for some reason she suddenly felt angry. One of the boys in the next row across went to the window and looked out, saying "It's Mashima and Nakamichi, sir. They're kicking a soccer ball about." Across the room, Chihaya heard Nikuman snort. Her teacher's face began to darken. Thankfully, the bell went before he could reprimand them for their inattention. Chihaya snatched up her bag and sprinted for the door, anxious to get to the club room. She was going to make Taichi play _at least_ two matches against her. She had to get stronger and the best way to day that was to practise against strong opponents.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Thank you to Ravenanne25 and Biribiri_chan for reviewing (and to anyone else who has read this far!) I know it's not great, but I felt as though the Chihayafuru section needed its 100th story!


	3. Chapter Two

_**Chapter Two**_

As he walked through the open courtyard, Taichi found himself laughing at Komano's joke. It might not have been _that _funny but, with the afternoon sun warming his face and the scent of wisteria heavy in the air, Taichi was simply too happy to care.

It was the final week of term and his whole class had been let out early. Apparently it was a reward for having done so well on their exams, scoring higher overall than any of the other classes. Although it was often denied by staff, it was widely known that the students in Class 1 were the best and brightest.

_Well, maybe not that bright_, Taichi had to admit. After all, he'd done some remarkably silly things of late. Three months ago, right after the East vs West challengers, he'd decided he was going to do his absolute best when it came to Chihaya, even going so far as to claim to the Meijin that Chihaya _was _his girlfriend. Taichi still wasn't quite sure what had made him to do that... Jealousy? Anger? Concern? Determination? Hope?

Whatever the reason, as he'd said the words out loud, he'd realised just how desperately he wanted them to be true. Chihaya might have her sights set so firmly on karuta that there was no room in her head for him, but Taichi wasn't going to give up on her that easily.

Karuta might be her whole world, but she was his.

Overhead, the sakura trees dipped and swayed as a sudden breeze stole through the courtyard, stirring the blossoms and sending hundreds of tiny white petals fluttering down. Some of the girls began to laugh and squeal, holding out their hands to catch the falling flakes. The sound recalled Taichi to his surroundings and, with the ghost of a smile playing about his lips, he glanced up at the windows lining the second storey. His eyes travelled along the row, stopping when he reached the middle.

_There_, thought Taichi. _That's where class 9 would be._

Class 9. Chihaya's class.

"Hey, Mashima," a voice called out. Taichi tore his gaze from the windows and grinned as a soccer ball was kicked towards him. He trapped it with his right foot then flicked it up into the air, bouncing it off his knee. With a laugh, he let fall to the ground once more before sending it back to Nakamichi with a kick.

As he passed the ball back and forth with his classmates, Taichi's mind began to wander. He thought back to when he was a child and how, at that time, soccer had seemed the most important thing in his life. Back then, he had been determined to become a world class soccer player _and_ a surgeon. Since starting high school, however, he hadn't even played one game. Hadn't even _thought_ about soccer… Not since Chihaya had come back into his life in her whirlwind way, catching him up and carrying him along in her wake. Soccer was his past, but karuta was his present. Taichi had made his choice and he didn't regret it. He knew that a _part_ of him had only agreed to help Chihaya out because he couldn't stand seeing her so upset; he'd do anything to make her happy, to help her achieve her dream…

…but it wasn't _just_ for her. He was doing it for himself, too. Karuta had worked its way into his skin. He'd-

A sudden shout went up, startling Taichi. Shaking his head, he looked up just in time to see the soccer ball go sailing through the air. His eyes widened when he saw its' trajectory. Without thinking, Taichi dropped his bag and started running. He threw himself forward, reaching upwards just in time to snatch the ball before it smashed against the glass panelling. Taichi dropped back to the ground, stumbling slightly. _Whoa, _he thought. _That was close!_ _A few more seconds and we'd have been in BIG trouble!_

With a grin, he looked around at his classmates, ducking his head and blushing when they started slapping him on the back and congratulating him on his amazing save. None of them wanted to face the wrath of their headmaster, and if that window had been broken…Well, it didn't bear thinking about!

Once more, Taichi found his eye drawn towards the windows of the second storey. His heart leapt when he caught Chihaya's face staring out of one of them. He smiled up at her, hoping she might wave back. _That girl, _he thought. _She's never paying attention when she needs to be! I bet she's thinking about karuta. Probably hasn't even realised that I'm down here! _Taichi hadn't noticed that the other windows in Chihaya's class were lined with faces, all female, all staring down at him in admiration. As he watched, Chihaya suddenly pulled back, returning her attention to the front of the class, where Taichi could just make out the shape of her teacher. Taichi felt his heart sinking.

She hadn't noticed him.

Turning away with a sigh, Taichi reached down for his bag and slung it over his shoulder. Every day he hoped that Chihaya would notice him; notice him the way that _he_ noticed _her_. But even now, after three months of doing his best, nothing much had changed. She was still an oblivious, passionate karuta baka, and he was still just her childhood friend.

As the bell rang out, signalling an end for the day's classes, Taichi waved goodbye to his friends and hurried after Komano. He caught up to him at the courtyard's northern door. Falling into step, the pair made their way towards the karuta team's club room. Spring Break might only be five days away, but none of them were slacking off. The whole team had agreed to meet up for practices every day this week. Well, "agreed" probably wasn't _quite_ the right word for it. "Forced by Chihaya" was a more _accurate_ description. She was already counting down the days until this year's Queen and Meijin qualifiers. Taichi shook his head when he realised it was his turn to play against her today. The last time they'd played, he'd beaten her by two cards and Chihaya had not taken it well, immediately demanding a rematch. _Today's_ match promised to be brutal. She'd _definitely_ be out for revenge. Taichi sighed once more. _And the afternoon started out so nicely_, he thought.

Little did he know that within the next 48 hours his happiness would suffer a far more serious blow.


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

Sunlight streamed in through the open windows of the karuta team's club room. It fell upon the worn tatami and the faded boxes stacked against the walls. In the corner closest to the door, Chihaya leant against the table, listening intently to the younger, dark haired girl in front of her.

"So, if you kick one leg back like _this," _Hanano-san was saying, "it's a sign of romantic abandon." "It tells the world you're literally head over heels," she added, with a giggle.

Chihaya stared at her kohai in surprise. _How does Hanano-san know so much about these things, _she wondered? Chihaya had learnt more about love, relationships and body language in the last 3 minutes than she had throughout the rest of her entire life.

The team were supposed to be cleaning out their club house today, in readiness for the new school year. It had been decided, however, that _no_ cleaning could be done until _every _team member was present. So, whilst Chihaya and Kana-chan listened to Hanano-san, Porky and Tsukuba-kun were sitting near the windows, arguing over who got to eat the last doryaki. As soon as Taichi and Desktomu arrived, they'd begin their spring clean-up. Well, perhaps they'd have just _one _game first. Chihaya was sure everyone would agree to that. After all, there was no point in wasting an opportunity to practise! She'd only scored narrow victories against Taichi during their matches on Monday. That wasn't good enough for someone who was aiming to become Queen. She was certain that, the next time they played, Taichi was going to go down by at _least_ 10 cards!

At the thought of Taichi, Chihaya paused. She wondered where he and Desktomu could be. What on earth was taking them so long? Their classroom wasn't _that_ far from the club house, was it? Had their teacher kept them in for some reason? Or were they simply trying to get out of cleaning up? Chihaya had the uneasy feeling that it wasn't quitethat simple, though. Something was definitely bothering Taichi. He'd been quiet and distracted all day.

_No_. _Distracted isn't the right word, _she thought. _Distant: That's it. Taichi's been acting distant._

Catching an earlier train to school…

Barely speaking to her when they passed each other in the corridor…

Looking away whenever their eyes met…

Yes, something was definitely bothering Taichi and, whatever it was, Chihaya had the feeling it was somehow all her fault. If only she knew what she'd _done_…

_I can work this out_, she thought. _I just have to think…_

Chihaya started drumming her fingers against the table top, dropping her gaze to the floor as she worked her way back over the previous day's events. Taichi had been fine on the wayto school and at lunch time, too. But, by the train ride home, _something_ had changed. He'd spent the whole trip staring out the window. _So, whatever is upsetting Taichi,_ thought Chihaya, _it must have happened during the afternoon... _

Yesterday afternoon...Well, they'd had practise as usual, but there was nothing awful about _that!_ In fact, Taichi had won his first match against Nishida, 7-0. Everyone had been chatting and laughing after that first round, pointing out each other's flaws, suggesting areas to work on... and then they'd stopped for a quick break, just as they always did.

_But I didn't even __talk__ to Taichi during that break, _thought Chihaya. _So whatever I did, it can't have been then. _Whilst the boys had all left the club room for one reason or another, she and Hanano-san had remained behind, listening as Kana-chan explained the "Ai mite no" poem. Chihaya suddenly cringed, her cheeks warming as she remembered what had happened next. She'd been about to ask Kana-chan a question, when Hanano-san had surprised her, suddenly asking her about her feelings towards Arata and the decisions she'd made regarding his confession. Chihaya had thought she'd been doing a good job of remaining calm and composed since her declaration in January that romance was off -limits; but Hanano-san's question had thrown her, and she'd started babbling, all of the confusion and mixed emotions once more rising to the surface. Thankfully Taichi had come back at that moment, closely followed by the rest of their team, and Hanano-san had dropped the subject. Two minutes after that, they'd started on their second round.

Chihaya's brow furrowed as a small frown settled on her features. _But nothing happened during the second match, either, s_he thought. _So why is Taichi ignoring me? What did I __do__?_ _In fact, if anyone's mad, it should be me! I'm the one who had to put up with Hanano-san's questioning! _

But, as she sat there puzzling over her dilemma, a seed of doubt wormed its way into Chihaya's mind. She found herself thinking once more to the moment when Taichi had re-entered the club room. Chihaya knew that her voice always rose when she was nervous... Could Taichi have overheard what she'd said? Was he mad at her because of that? _But why would he be mad, _she wondered?_ Because I kept it secret? _No...That didn't seem likely...

And then, with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, Chihaya came to a far more troubling conclusion. Taichi and Arata were friends, weren't they? Was that why Taichi was mad at her? Because he thought she'd turned down someone he considered a friend? Did he think badly of her because of the way she'd treated Arata?

_If… If that's true, then... What am I supposed to do?_

While Chihaya had been thinking over her problems, Hanano-san had continued to chatter away. She was still enthusiastically describing the secrets of body language, unaware that her senpai was no longer listening. "Ohh and_ this_," she suddenly exclaimed, startling Chihaya back to the present, "means that you want to become entwined with the person you're talking to!" Here, she twisted one leg behind the other, slowly running her toes down the side of her calf. The two older girls simply stared at her, Kana-chan with a look of dismay, Chihaya with disbelief.

"Now you try, Ayase-senpai," Hanano-san said with a smile.

"Eh?" Chihaya replied, her look of disbelief replaced by one of horror.

"I don't think -" Kana-chan began, but she was cut off by Hanano-san, who, with a cry of "It'll be fun," had grabbed Chihaya's hands and pulled her to her feet. Chihaya suddenly found herself standing beside the door, her mind whirling with thoughts of Taichi, Arata, and confessions of love. She tried to focus on body language instead, taking a deep breath as she gave the manoeuvre a go.

Grace, elegance, poise… Chihaya had none of these. She got herself into a tangle, teetering about with flailing arms and pounding heart, until gravity took its toll and she started to fall. She reached for the door, hoping to steady herself against its solid frame… But it was no longer there. Someone on the far side was sliding it open. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Chihaya felt herself tipping sideways, out through the widening gap. She closed her eyes, expecting the pain that would surely come as she crashed into the floor of the hallway beyond.

It didn't come.

Instead, she felt a pair of arms closing around her. The arms tightened, taking her weight and holding her steady. When Chihaya looked up, it was Taichi's face she saw. He was staring back at her with a mixture of surprise and concern. Chihaya of her previous fears seemed to have fled_. _The only thing she was aware of was her heart, pounding in her ears.

"Chihaya? Are you okay?" Taichi asked her.

_When did Taichi get so strong, _Chihaya wondered?

"Chihaya?" Taichi repeated, and this time she thought she could detect the impatience in his voice. Her worries returned with a rush. Taichi was mad at her…

Chihaya realised she was still lying back in his arms and that he was waiting for an answer. Colour flooded her cheeks as she gave a quick nod, not trusting herself to speak. Taichi pulled her the rest of the way to her feet then stepped around her, walking into the club room without a backwards glance. Desktomu - who had been standing beside him in the hall - followed suit, giving Chihaya a bemused look on his way past.

Chihaya remained alone in the hallway, wondering what had just happened. Why did she feel so flustered? Was it simply because Taichi was mad at her? But she didn't have _time_ to feel flustered… She had to figure out a way to sort out her problems with Taichiso she could go back to focusing on karuta. There was still so much work to be done before she was ready to become Queen. She couldn't afford to become distracted…

Chihaya took a deep breath and threw back her shoulders. Her problems would just have to wait. There was _cleaning_ to be done…

* * *

><p>AN: Can I start by saying _thank you_ to all of the lovely people (I'm guessing you're lovely!) who left a review, favourited or followed this story? And then I have to say another _thank you_ to anyone who was interested enough to read the earlier chapters, plus a _thank you _for continuing to read this - chapter three. Now, I have to follow all of that up by saying "Oops", because I forgot about updating, for a very, _very_ long time...

So... Oops!


	5. Chapter Four

_**Chapter Four**_

The excited chatter and giggles of his female teammates reached Taichi's ears as he walked along the corridor with Komano. Taichi sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair. _Not again, _he thought. The last time he'd overheard one of their conversations his whole world had been tipped sideways. He'd spent a whole day thinking about it and, even now, he was still reeling from the shock of what he'd learnt.

When the bell had rung out for the end of today's classes, Taichi had purposely taken as long as he could to gather up his belongings; hoping against hope that something would turn up to prevent him from attending to his club duties. He'd dragged his feet as he left the room, wondering if he should volunteer to clean off the board, or reorganise the textbooks; anything to keep him away from the clubhouse; and it was only when he noticed Komano staring at him oddly that Taichi realised just how ridiculous he was being.

But, even so, he _really_ didn't want to be here right now.

Taichi could hear Chihaya's voice clearly now, coming from just behind the clubroom door, and he had to fight back another sigh. Of _course_ the first person he'd see when he entered the clubroom would be her. It was that sort of day... Week... Month.

Really, it was his life in a nutshell.

Taichi hesitated for a second, wondering if he could still slither out somehow, but quickly dismissed the idea. Komano would think he was an idiot, for one, and, loath as he was to have anything to do with Chihaya, karuta and the clubhouse right now, he _was_ still their president. Schooling his features into what he hoped was a cheerful expression; Taichi placed a hand against the door, sliding it back.

He wasn't at all prepared for what happened next…

As the door continued to roll backwards, Chihaya came tumbling headfirst through the gap. Taichi's look of forced cheerfulness quickly turned to one of surprise. True, he had spent many nights dreaming of the moment when Chihaya fell for him, but this wasn't _exactly_ what he'd had in mind. Instinctively, his arms closed around her. He felt her weight leaning into him and he tightened his grip.

"Chihaya?" he said, looking down at her, "Are you okay?"

She was remarkably still and her eyes seemed unfocused.

"Chihaya?" Taichi repeated, louder and more insistent. Her silence was worrying him and he was all too aware of how close they were; his skin felt as though it had been set aflame where they touched and the scent of her shampoo filled his mind in an intoxicating way. This time his voice seemed to cut through to her, though, and she gave a quick nod. Taichi felt a rush of relief followed by embarrassment. He hurriedly let go of her; stepping away before she could notice the flush that he _knew_ was colouring his cheeks. Thankfully, the commotion had distracted everyone else; and by the time Chihaya had re-entered the club room, Taichi once more had his body under control.

If only he could say the same for his emotions.

"Okay, that's it," Oe-san said happily, sweeping her eyes over her teammates. Taichi leant back in his chair and stretched. Deciding what needed doing and who was going to do it had taken far less time than expected, thanks to Oe-san's outstanding organisational abilities. She had seemed so in-control of events that Taichi had been happy to leave all the talking to her; only stepping in when an argument arose. Chihaya had caused the first of these by reaching for a pack of cards just as their meeting had begun. The rest of the team had rebelled, and Taichi had found himself explaining to her quite firmly that _no_, they were _not_ going to be playing any matches today - since the whole point of this afternoon's meet-up was to clean the place. He didn't add that this whole thing had been her idea to begin with and that _she_ was the one who'd wanted things to look nice for the new school year and the new recruits she was hoping would arrive. Taichi might have been the president, but he didn't have a death wish.

Now, though, they were ready to begin, and a busy hum settled over the group as they started shifting furniture and tatami; throwing open windows and gathering up the cleaning gear they'd require. Chihaya might have initially been upset at the thought of a day with no karuta, but she set to just as willingly as the rest. Taichi watched her for a moment before grabbing some cleaning cloths and dragging a chair over to the nearest shelf. He was envious of how easily she was able to let things go, automatically switching her attention to where it was needed.

_Well, I'll just have to do that too, _he thought.

Twenty minutes later, however, Taichi realised that people were wrong when they suggested 'keeping busy' as a way to take your mind off things. It didn't work. No matter what he did, the worry, the pain and the misery still found a way in. He just _couldn't_ get over the previous day's revelation.

_Arata had confessed to Chihaya?_

When had that happened? And what had she said? Were they already going out?

Damn.

Damn, damn, damn.

Taichi felt like such an idiot. He'd always known that Chihaya only had eyes for Arata; but he'd never once lost hope. He'd fooled himself into thinking that she _could_ be his, that if he kept trying hard enough she'd be bound to notice him… Only, the world didn't work that way. While he'd been busy trying to earn her affections, she'd been chasing after someone else's. And that '_someone else_' had been waiting with open arms.

'_Was it worth it?' _asked a treacherous voice in his head, _'All that hoping and doing your best?'_

And that was the sad, sorry fact of it, because Taichi knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he'd do exactly the same thing again.

How could he not?

_If only I'd told Chihaya sooner, _he thought.

'_Ah, but you didn't,'_ said the voice in his head_, 'because you're a coward.' _The fact that it sounded just like Arata did nothing to improve Taichi's mood. He threw down the cleaning cloth he was using and glared at the now-spotless shelf in front of him. Then he sighed. Taichi knew he was being unfair; none of this was Arata's fault, after all. It was something he'd brought upon himself.

_And now it's too late, _he lamented. There was no way Chihaya would even_ look_ at him; not with a confession from Arata filling her mind.

As he stepped down from the chair on which he was standing, Taichi cast his eyes about for the next set of shelves to clean. He heard laughter coming from outside and, looking that way, he saw Nishida and Tsukuba beating the tatami clean; large clouds of dust rising into the air with each _whack!_ Oe-san, Komano and Hanano-san were there too, lugging the newly dusted mats back to the clubhouse door. Further on, beyond the gardens and pathways, Taichi could just make out the track team hard at work; their shouts of "Fight, On!" carrying across the grounds.

When he turned his attention back to the club room, Taichi found his gaze being drawn to Chihaya. She had a broom in her hand and a look of concentration upon her face. The sunlight played across her hair as she swatted the cobwebs from the windows.

_I should have told you I loved you the minute I met you, _Taichi thought regretfully.

Suddenly, after an entire day spent trying to avoid eye contact with her, now all Taichi wanted was to drink in her every detail. Slender frame and tied back hair. Curving lips and shining eyes. Her hands; strong and quick, the nails cut short…

Taichi didn't know how long he stared but, when he came to, he realised that Chihaya had stopped working and was looking at him curiously. Taichi found his cheeks warming for the second time that day.

"You missed a spot," he said, pointing to a web in the corner to try and hide his embarrassment.

"I know," Chihaya replied. "Someone's living in it." And, as if it had heard her, the web's occupant waved a long, spindly leg from within its castle of threads. Taichi looked from it to Chihaya and back again. Wordlessly, he took the broom from her hands and swiped both web and spider from their place above the window.

"There," he said, holding the broom back out to her, "I didn't think you were scared of spiders."

"I'm not!" She replied indignantly. "I never said I was scared. I said someone was _living_ in it!"

Taichi rolled his eyes and waited for Chihaya to take back the broom. She reached for it before quickly recoiling, eyes wide.

"What?" he asked.

"There's still lots of web on it! What if there's a Mrs Spider hiding in there, too?"

"Ha! Not scared my foot!"

"_Tai-chi!"_

"Okay, okay," he relented, moving to the open doorway and sitting down inside it. Chihaya plonked herself beside him. Doing his best to ignore her, Taichi balanced the broom across his lap and started pulling at the sticky threads - wincing slightly as he did so. Chihaya noticed his shudders and couldn't help herself from commenting.

"_Oooh_! Who's afraid _now_?" she teased. Soon, their bickering began again.

"Now, now," Oe-san said placatingly, coming up beside them. "We can't have our prez and captain arguing. Especiallynot when prez was nice enough to save you earlier, Chihaya-chan," she added with a grin. Taichi allowed himself a small smile; the first real one that day.

"Mmmm," Chihaya said slowly. "Taichi's always nice to his friends…" Her voice trailed off. She turned and regarded Taichi with a thoughtful look upon her face.

"Taichi," she began hesitantly, "did… are-"

But whatever she was going to say was cut-off as Nishida came barging past. "Man! That was _tiring_!" he complained, throwing himself down onto the clubroom floor. "Who wants to go for ice-cream?"

"Eh?" Chihaya exclaimed, Nishida's words grabbing her attention. She scrambled to her feet and rushed to where he lay. "But we haven't finished yet!" she argued, trying to pull him back up. "Come on!"

With much grumbling, Nishida allowed himself to be moved. The other team members laughed at his begrudging manner, until Chihaya rounded on them too.

"Come on!" She urged. "Clean! Clean, clean, clean!"

Taichi remained seated. He wondered what Chihaya had been going to say to him. It couldn't have been that important… Could it? Taichi's smile slipped. Of course it couldn't. Nothing about him would_ ever_ be important to Chihaya. He'd been silly to think that the easiness with which they'd teased each other only moments before was a sign that everything would be okay. The ache he felt wasn't something that could be healed so easily. Distractions and positive thinking weren't going to cut it on their own. He was going to have to find another way to deal with the mess of emotions he was currently experiencing.

If only he knew _what_ that way might be…

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Was that as torturous to read as it was to write? Punctuation and plot progression are beyond me… But, on the upside, I should be able to update quicker from now on(is that an upside?).


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